"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
