i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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