Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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