YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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