Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
