Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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