Already got asked if we're dating
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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