would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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