carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
