Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
