ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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