Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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