I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
