You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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