I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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