If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
smell my finger.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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