White coat. Heels.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to stop coming to work sober
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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