i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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