no, he came in my armpit
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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