You're my little dorito
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish i was in the wii world.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
