so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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