Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
