Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no you cant smoke seaweed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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