Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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