We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The power of my boobs compel you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
