I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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