Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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