i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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