Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
