Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
