I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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