Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
worst night to have a conscience
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize