i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
