can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
