i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize