69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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