Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
