my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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