cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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