One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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