mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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