he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
