would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
