So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
