he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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