dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
