As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize