So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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