saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
