Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
