Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
