note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
