one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish I only lived at night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
