I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
