He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
