i permit you to call me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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