my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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