i don't like sucking hair
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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