I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize