You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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